My Refuge
Right from my childhood, I had always wanted to be an helping hand to others In various aspects - through God's grace . That zeal made me start a movement then, with my best friend - a Christian fellowship - for kids, to help them grow spiritually and otherwise. Then I was in my junior year (jss2). Ifunanya (bestie) and I would gather friends...mostly classmates, during short breaks or leisure hours for fellowship. It actually helped us grow.
I could remember vividly one time, I travelled to the village for a long vacation, I told my grandma (may her gentle soul rest in peace 😢) about our movement...the fellowship. She was like "...so what do you want me to do? ", I told her I needed new members at the village. She just stared at me and was quiet. The next day, we (my cousins and I) had to conduct fellowship with no members. I was really sad 😔.
So later on, we thought of the idea of getting people to come for fellowship through snacks. We bought snacks to be shared after fellowship ...only to those who attended. Mehn the next day the amount of kids that came for fellowship je..ez were much 😂😂. We had no choice but to use that method. 😂
But unfortunately, we ran out of money and chairs due to the high number of kids. We started loosing members. Then my grandma intervened. She sponsored every fellowships (provided chairs and money). I will never forget those days😆.
All these built my strength and desire to serve God. But it wasn't easy because at the left hand side..emotional bully was prevailing . Mixing and absorbing two different sides of my life was so difficult. Sometimes I broke down and cried. All these led to :
Anger
Yep!, I was mad at everything, at everyone, at myself. I was also mad at God, but at some point I saw things more clearer. I was angry at him for not creating me well (right now, I'm laughing at the level of stupidity I had then) . Being Slim or better still thin, was not part of creation to me then .
I was so insecure, so I began body shaming others...Yes I did. I made fun of ther persons' bodies. I wanted to pass my resentment out on others - I just couldn't be the only one who had a fault, whose body is nothing to die for...I just couldn't. I wanted them to also feel imperfect, (I believed everyone had perfect bodies except me). I was just sailing on the Sea of sorrow,
One time in class, I made jest of my friend and class rep (Kath). I was like "...Ada, I thought I was flat, but Katherine is flatter...I have hope ". "Flat" here is a slang used at school to describe someone who isn't endowed esp at the back side ...you get?. Ada (my friend) just smiled.
Honestly, I feel bad... But that didn't end there.. .What happened next?. .
Truth 003 loading.
Pls hit the subscribe button at the head of the page to get you posted.
Remember your happiness depends only on you.
Earlier on Truth 001 I disclosed how I was emotionally bullied during my secondary school days. Truth 002 is a continuation of my life's thread .
Right from my childhood, I had always wanted to be an helping hand to others In various aspects - through God's grace . That zeal made me start a movement then, with my best friend - a Christian fellowship - for kids, to help them grow spiritually and otherwise. Then I was in my junior year (jss2). Ifunanya (bestie) and I would gather friends...mostly classmates, during short breaks or leisure hours for fellowship. It actually helped us grow.
I could remember vividly one time, I travelled to the village for a long vacation, I told my grandma (may her gentle soul rest in peace 😢) about our movement...the fellowship. She was like "...so what do you want me to do? ", I told her I needed new members at the village. She just stared at me and was quiet. The next day, we (my cousins and I) had to conduct fellowship with no members. I was really sad 😔.
So later on, we thought of the idea of getting people to come for fellowship through snacks. We bought snacks to be shared after fellowship ...only to those who attended. Mehn the next day the amount of kids that came for fellowship je..ez were much 😂😂. We had no choice but to use that method. 😂
But unfortunately, we ran out of money and chairs due to the high number of kids. We started loosing members. Then my grandma intervened. She sponsored every fellowships (provided chairs and money). I will never forget those days😆.
All these built my strength and desire to serve God. But it wasn't easy because at the left hand side..emotional bully was prevailing . Mixing and absorbing two different sides of my life was so difficult. Sometimes I broke down and cried. All these led to :
Anger
Yep!, I was mad at everything, at everyone, at myself. I was also mad at God, but at some point I saw things more clearer. I was angry at him for not creating me well (right now, I'm laughing at the level of stupidity I had then) . Being Slim or better still thin, was not part of creation to me then .
I was so insecure, so I began body shaming others...Yes I did. I made fun of ther persons' bodies. I wanted to pass my resentment out on others - I just couldn't be the only one who had a fault, whose body is nothing to die for...I just couldn't. I wanted them to also feel imperfect, (I believed everyone had perfect bodies except me). I was just sailing on the Sea of sorrow,
One time in class, I made jest of my friend and class rep (Kath). I was like "...Ada, I thought I was flat, but Katherine is flatter...I have hope ". "Flat" here is a slang used at school to describe someone who isn't endowed esp at the back side ...you get?. Ada (my friend) just smiled.
Honestly, I feel bad... But that didn't end there.. .What happened next?. .
Truth 003 loading.
Pls hit the subscribe button at the head of the page to get you posted.
Remember your happiness depends only on you.
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